Valerie Harms

Re article by Greenberg in New Yorker, April 2nd 2018:

Why didn’t Mr. Greenberg stick to Leslie Jamison’s book on alcoholic writers? She is a recovering alcoholic; he obviously is not. The Big Book is not synonymous with AA. Many attend AA meetings without ever reading the book. And what’s wrong with the program having been defined by two white guys? Are their contributions not to be recognized anymore? AA has helped numerous people stay sober. Why knock it? Why not praise its good qualities? Mr. Greenberg would not make a good therapist for those who have or who those around them think they have a problem with alcohol. Many therapists require clients to stop drinking to clear up their cloudy thinking. Greenberg is an intellectual enabler. Read More 

“I found myself in a dark wood” ~
Dante before envisioning The Divine Comedy.


When we stand at a crossroads and need to make a transition, we must first enter the dark night of the soul. Out of confusion and seeming chaos the new path emerges.
Everyone has difficulties—some inordinately hard but all essential to their calling. We struggle in relationships, work, health, and with how to live meaningfully. We must make transitions—literally die to one way of life and be reborn into another.
When we feel a failure or have a loss forced upon us, only one hope offers solace — that of starting over. The hope and dream of these moments of total crisis are to obtain a definitive and total renovatio, a renewal capable of transmuting life. Even the nonreligious in the depths of their being sometimes feel the desire for this kind of spiritual transformation.

When we must die to the old way and be reborn to the new, the rites of mysteries and the images of myths bring us comfort. They help us to get out of the purely cognitive mode and find truths in deeper, soulful ways.— Read More 

What is the Real Story
in your memoir; fiction or nonfiction
5 Tips for uncovering it
Always start with a short meditation or quiet moment to improve your concentration
1 Write an anecdote from one period of the person’s life. If a memoir, choose yourself.
2 Describe in detail two memories from that time. Include all your senses — touch (fabric), hearing, smell, sight, and taste (food is SO resonant).
3 What was going on for the person at this time? What decisions was he or she facing? What transition? What path did he or she not take?
4 Then pull your thoughts together and write a scene about this time in present or past tense. Select a point of view and establish a tone. Use action verbs. Try to avoid “was” or “there” as they are weak words.
5 Use dialogue between people that has tension or humor in it.
Now you have a section, maybe a chapter, and can go on to the next.
 Read More 

Last week I had an awful shock: A GPS unit I ordered emitted a fierce blast when I turned it on (near my ear). After that I couldn’t hear words and there was a jangling around any sound. After measurements were made, a 3-week course of Prednisone was prescribed. I struggle through phone calls and can only converse if the person looks at me directly. Recovering my hearing can take quite awhile, and there are no guarantees. But it's good for reading through my stack of unread books and catching up on this blog. Read More 

Dreams are like Fed-Ex Messages from Your Soul
Tips for Understanding Them
Dreams pop up from the stream of unconscious imagery constantly flowing beneath the surface of our egos. Because they may seem as confounding as riddles, don’t let these messages pass you by. To benefit from them, all you need to do is catch two-three a month and reflect on them.

Symbols appear to announce new attitudes and the next phase of life. If we reflect on them in our solitude, a minor or major rebirth in our daily lives can be set in motion.
An example is when a person dreams of a child, the dream can be seen to be about the beginning or creative attitude that comes at the end of conflicts. The new way or path is symbolized by the child. The child must be cared for and helped to grow. Your dreams will show you when your child is being neglected by containing a crying or hungry baby.
A different kind of symbol is going into water where the old is washed away and the new is born.  Read More 

Inner Wisdom of the Body
Tips for Befriending it

We are born into a particular body with a certain gender, genes, predispositions and upbringing. We all start out from babyhood, advance through stages, and ultimately face death. We see, smell, taste, touch, and hear via our bodies, although in the course of living we might lose one or more senses—with regret. With our bodies we know our most intimate relationships with others, experience our emotions as we go through the day, feel the effects of food, exercise, and contact with nature. Our bodies also are agents for healing.

Here are some journal techniques that will help you make contact with your body’s inner wisdom.  Read More 

Charlie Rose, My Late-Night Husband

I have watched “The Charlie Rose Show” almost every night since the 1990s. I’ve called him my TV husband. I’ve spent more time listening, absorbing, looking at him than most spouses do their partners. I’ve learned things: his vulnerability with dogs, his gratitude to the doctors and woman who helped him through his heart surgery and aftermath, his working with his father in the family store in North Carolina. His regret for not interviewing his parents when they were alive. His love for politics, sports, the arts, architecture, music.
I am faithful, I love him though we’ve never met in person. I’ve had many dreams in which he invites me to his apartment. I am thrilled, wary in the way one is when one is in new territory. The atmosphere is erotic. We talk. I would like to be embraced, to be desired, to fuse. Read More 

I was thinking a lot about the Vietnam films and what was happening for me at that time.My husband to be, Larry, graduated from college in 1961, I in 1962. L said that he could either enlist or be drafted. If he enlisted in the Intelligence corps, he might be sent to France. We married later that year at Fort Dix, during his Basic Training. Sturm and drang. We lived in Baltimore while he went to Intelligence School and we did indeed go to France, Verdun.

He did not have to wear a uniform and we rented a “big” house (for that village) in a farm community called Manheulles along the major highway, near the Meuse River. Read More 

Anais was a "mother" of mine. I loved her diaries on writing, art, relationships -- all my major concerns.

Polar bears standing on ice floes
Mere skeletons, humped over, starved,
Sitting on melting ice floe in water
Where is food, the next ice floe?
Ice melts, water flows, melting the floes
A mother with cub or two who
Need her for two years.
Seven-eight feet long to short tail,
Small ears, round black eyes,
Big black nose, heavy white coat
Webbed feet that help for swimming
Non-slip pads that don’t disturb ice when they
Put their weight down
A hollow top coat that reflects sunlight
And looks white, a black layer of skin,
A thick layer of fat that traps heat below.

They only live in the arctic circle,
Northern parts of the U.S., Canada,
Russia, Greenland, and Norway.
Bears’ favorite food is seal blubber.
They wait by an ice hole for the seal to breathe
Or climb up to bask but with less floes,
No seals. In harder times they’ll
Eat reindeer, eggs, birds, foxes,
And humans’ garbage.

Global temperatures mean sea
Ice forms for shorter periods
Bears have to travel long distances
For food. Or fast for months.
Bears are much skinnier. Offshore oil
Drilling and exploration brings
Disturbance and pollutants.
Polar bears were the first to be
Put on Endangered Species list.
 Read More