One key to the qualities you'd like to add to your personality is the identity of your secret self. If you fantasize and free associate about your secret self, you'd playfully come up with more than one option, I'll bet. Psychological jargon speaks of "the shadow". Because it may be dark, we think that it must be bad. But no, the dark side of our selves contain possibilities and longings we've never acknowledged. So, bring your secret self out of the darkness into the ordinary daylight.